🩺 Scrub In: The Motivated Med Life

The first time I experienced burnout, I honestly thought I was sick. I thought I was coming down with a cold. My solution was to go to bed earlier and to take multivitamins. But I didn’t do these things to truly take care of myself; I did them so I could keep studying.

Eating well, going to the gym, drinking water, even talking to my advisor: these became tools I used to convince myself that I didn’t need to rest. I told myself I just needed to push harder because nothing was really wrong. And when fatigue still hit me, when more questions made my eyes glaze over, when I couldn’t focus enough to answer the last 10 questions genuinely, or when I mentally checked out, I told myself I was lazy. I just needed to push a little more. I was so close.

So I pushed. And my mental health suffered.

I began to self-isolate because I hated talking to other people. They would try to encourage me: “you’re doing so well,” “you will pass soon,” “don’t worry God’s in control,” and so on. Their kind words felt false, not because of them, but because I couldn’t believe them anymore. I couldn’t internalize encouragement. All I could do was push, push, push, and hope I didn’t fall. But I did.

After taking Step 1 for the first time I isolated even more. The test left me drained and hoping I wouldn’t have to take it again, that maybe all my pushing had paid off. I stayed home as I waited for my test scores, and when I got the update that I had failed my exam, I felt numb. I tried my best, but all my pushing equaled failure. I felt defeated.

Steps to Recognizing Burnout

1. Check your body and mind. Take a slow, deep breath in. Exhale slowly. Ask yourself: Where do I feel the most tension? Is it physical, emotional, or mental? What specifically? Does anything make it better or worse? (I kept feeling pressure in my chest every time I tried to do more practice questions and a sinking feeling when I did not do well on practice tests.)
   
2. Reflect on your week. Take a step back and ask: How has my week been outside of studying or work? Good, bad, or empty? (My weeks were empty. I rarely planned anything because I was afraid it would take away from studying. No hanging out with friends, not even texting friends as much because it felt like additional work and I was already overworked from studying.)
   
3. Evaluate your coping habits. Think about the things you usually do to alleviate stress. Do they actually work? Do they help long-term, or are they just distractions? (I would find myself trying to alleviate stress by watching YouTube videos and shorts, but they provided very short-term relief and I always felt like I had wasted time that I could have used to study. It was a bad cycle.)
   
4. Review your breaks. Ask yourself: When was the last time I took a real break? A whole day or half a day? Did it make a difference? Remember that breaks look different for everyone. Sometimes it’s doing nothing, other times it’s simple self-care like groceries, laundry, or a leisure walk. (Rarely. I took breaks rarely, and I think that was really what burned me out—the constant expectation that I would have to continue to study at a grueling pace without rest. And when I did try to find rest it was short or filled with guilt the whole time, so I was never fully rested in body, mind, or spirit. One was always fatigued at one point or another.)
   
5. Assess your support. Finally, the hardest question: Have I talked to anyone about how I feel? Or have I isolated myself from others because of stress and burnout? (I can look back and see that I thankfully had people in my life who wanted and tried to help me. But unfortunately, when you have it in your mind that all you need to do is push more, it’s really easy to let their support go to the wayside. Occasionally, I would listen to my mom and eat better or go for a walk. I would even listen to my advisor to find things I could do while studying to make the experience a bit better, like shorter study days and breaks. Perhaps these things allowed me to push for a bit longer, but I still never addressed the deeper issues associated with study burnout—that I needed a break, a real break.)
   

What to Do About Burnout

Addressing burnout looks different for everyone. Some students may need to take a leave of absence, a month, three months, or longer. Others may not have that option if school is their main financial support. Some people recover with a few days of real rest; others need weeks, months, and outside resources beyond self-care.

The best universal advice I can give: reach out to a trusted advisor or mentor. Someone who knows your options within your program and who can support you in getting the help you need.

Because here’s the truth: even if you somehow push through burnout and pass Step 1, what about rotations? What about third year? Burnout can easily follow you there. And you don’t want to carry it forward. It’s not just about passing a test, it’s about sustaining yourself for the long journey of medical training and beyond.

Practical Ways I’ve Learned to Rest

Taking a full day off without guilt (and reminding myself this doesn’t mean I’m falling behind).

Talking honestly with a friend or mentor instead of isolating myself.

Journaling my thoughts when they feel overwhelming.

Going for short walks, not as exercise goals, but simply to breathe fresh air and notice the world outside of studying.

Doing small chores like laundry or cleaning my bed, not “productivity,” but simple acts of care that reset my environment.

Allowing myself to enjoy hobbies again, like reading something non-medical or watching a show.

A Hopeful Note

What I’ve learned is that rest is not the opposite of discipline, it’s part of it. Burnout doesn’t make you weak, and taking care of yourself doesn’t mean you’re less dedicated. It means you’re protecting your ability to keep going.

I used to think rest would take me further from my goals. Now I see that rest is what allows me to reach them in the first place.

If you’re in burnout right now, please know: you’re not lazy, you’re not broken, and you’re not alone. Step back, breathe, and give yourself permission to recover. You’re still moving forward—just in a way that honors your humanity, not just your ambition.