🩺 Scrub In: The Motivated Med Life

I’ve asked myself this question countless times throughout my medical journey, but never more than now as I prepare for my second attempt at Step 1.

My first attempt, a year ago, ended in failure. I didn’t pass, and I felt an overwhelming sense of burnout and defeat. Instead of asking myself what success truly meant, I kept asking why I couldn’t be successful at this one thing: passing Step 1.

I had put in the work. I reviewed my notes, used UWorld, Amboss, Med Bootcamp, Sketchy, and Osmosis. I followed my tutor’s advice: study intensely for 6–8 weeks, complete 120 questions daily, and review with Anki flashcards. I tried to balance my health by exercising and resting on Sundays.

And yet, I wasn’t successful.

When my score report arrived three weeks later, the failure stung. At the time, my efforts felt wasted. I tried my best, I reached out for help, but it wasn’t good enough. Now, with distance, I can look back and actually thank my past self. I put in a tremendous amount of effort. What held me back wasn’t laziness or lack of discipline. It was burnout, anxiety, and trying to force myself into a study mold that didn’t match my learning style or mental health needs.

In chasing one version of success, passing Step 1, I sacrificed the other things that made me successful: sleep, nutrition, hobbies, and mental rest. I’ve since realized that ignoring those needs only undermines my long-term progress. I can’t afford to neglect them.

While I didn’t pass Step 1 the first time, I gained something just as important: perspective. Success, for me, now includes taking care of my body, protecting my mental health, and honoring the way I learn best. These are quieter, less quantifiable forms of success than a test score, but they’re foundational.

When I reflect on my journey, I see a long record of success that proves I’m capable. I’m in medical school now, but before that, I worked while completing a pre-matriculation program to strengthen my application. Before that, I earned a Master’s in Public Health while studying for the MCAT. Before that, I was an undergraduate studying biochemistry and political science, completing the prerequisites for medical school. Even in high school, I was researching colleges that would help me pursue this dream.

At every stage, there were tests, applications, and challenges, and at every stage, I found a way forward. Passing Step 1 may still be ahead of me, but the trend in my story is clear: I persist, I adapt, and I succeed.

Recently, my counselor gave me homework: create a symbol to remind myself that I will be successful on Step 1. I went to ChatGPT and asked:

Create a symbol that represents being successful on my Step 1 exam (i.e., passing, staying calm, and confident). Here are three iterations Chat helped me come up with:

That exercise reminded me that success isn’t just about exams. It’s about how we define it for ourselves and how that definition shifts over time.So I’ll leave you with the same question:
What does success look like for you right now? How has it changed over time, and what might it look like in the future as a student, professional, parent, friend, or simply as a person?